Moderns often make the mistake of thinking we must not cut , but cutting is what our Creator calls us to do. It's not easy or costless and can be very painful to do.
Nature is sensitive and delicate so we must understand it well before we cut anything there. By understanding nature you will develop confidence to cut it because nature is resilient and reproductive as well .
So learn to do it well .
Precision in decision is your calling in whatever paddock or workshop you find yourself in Keep the blades sharp and you won't need to do what the French did in the 1700's
Last week at a concert we sang the great song by the duo Gershwin's "Nice work if you can get it "
The song ends with the words "Will YOU show me how ?"
No even though I spent half my life trying to find good work for young people ( Other peoples children ) I know I can't do it
Let me remind you then that you can't help many people and you too need to choose which ones you should aim to help.
What I can do is show you how to run your own household and be a good parent
To save time let me just tell you a story ( the very short version as is fit for a poet )
Father to Son Did you hit your brother ?
Son No !! No !
Father Off to your room ( so you can THINK about what you are doing and have done )
Father Come out when you have something more to say
OK what is happening here? Efficient conversation
Later . None of the following may be necessary -- We don't want only more nagging but some words can be helpful too
"Before you leave this house, you need to know that lying to yourself and to others is wrong and not good for you . You need to know who your enemy is and how to engage with him "
" Look son, I love you but I don't love some of the things you choose to do. If I get angry at you its often because of things you choose to do. You have been given absolute freedom by your Creator ( not me ) to do what ever you like.( Teach them to hate the sin but love the sinner )
You do have bad thoughts which you can't do much about except not to act on them .More important than that, you need to admit to yourself ( noone else) that you have them and deal with them as bad ." {Jung rightly describes the only problem remaining is man himself. )
Mums might have the worst jobs in the world (in this case perhaps having the constant bad cop job of telling the child it is wrong to lie) but by the two cops working together, the good cop can take a different tack. It's always better and more effective IF we tell ourselves the truth and however long it takes it's time well spent. God help those who try to tell us these things.
Don't fail --focus!
I spent half my life trying to help young people who were not my own, to find good work . Whatever I said did little to change their attitudes or their pathway. I have watched others too give their time generously too to other's children. Its been hard for them too because they can easily and deeply neglect their own families in the process.
What am I saying ? Choose well who you will help. I am saying don't overestimate what you can do for other peoples children but do a good job on your own (they too won't ever be perfect but focus on what builds resilience in households)
And if you haven't got children of your own teach yourself to do even the most basic of jobs well so that you will then learn to do everything well .
And forget being remembered and appreciated , Doing your job well will lead you to get the best satisfaction you will ever get.
(If you really want help, don't go straight to a psychologist, try an experienced poets like Gershwins .)
