Sunday, February 24, 2013

Don't ever lose your sense of humor
Sometimes we can lose our sense of humor OVER the most serious of matters. Like " You,  me  and our understanding of our standing as individuals ".

Self worth & Self Belief . The problem that Rowan Atkinson has so well recognised  in the above clip is that our sense of hurt is often subjective; and therefore not a good game for law discussions.( getting above the law, by not relying on it ,  is always better too)
Having a thick skin is also good for our image of ourselves. If we can't accept a bit of criticisim we become dangers to ourselves, our families and our society ( Think of the phenomenon of "exaggerated sense of entitlement " ) Criticism doesn't mean they are right in what they say. As you deal with it you may like to enjoy the attention .
The Brits have after 25 years ( January 2013) taken the word "insult" off the offence books and many of us have said " hooray" .Noone likes to be or "feel insulted",  but,  lets face it ( key ideas here ?)- our best friends and our parents make us feel that way  .
People who care for us  can make us feel insulted , but are not trying to put us down as much "put us in our place".' Our parents and friends , if they love us , want us to be realists - "this is how good you really are;"  "you're not as good as you think you are "" try harder next time' you might be happy with your lazy effort but your next boss won't" "Don't let others be your constant critic - be your own best critic " .Some do it , not intentionally to hurt, ( it always hurts?) but to deal with our pride and STOP the train wreck --to stop  a fall and  depression tendency and cycle later .
We don't need to talk here about the enormous racket of insults that have nothing positive to say about your limits,  but have everything to do with the authors limits . Projection of feelings of inadequacy from one person to another make up the majority of insults,  I guess .Learn to forgive and learn to forgive yourself first. 
To add to the confusion --it is true that sometimes , the person who you feel is insulting you is simply not listening... and they don't want to know.  When your friends do it -it can because  do they love you enough to keep you on the road to fulfilled ( cf false ) expectations .

If a stranger makes you feel insulted, and it is isn't done in complete ignorance of your explanation ( ie they have been listening to you carefully) I suggest you ignore the feelings of being put down and try to find out whether their offer of a better way of thinking isn't infact worth more thought .You may only know if they, or you, are ignorant,  if you investigate their claims.
People who hang it on you for the sake of making themseleves feel better are everywhere : our jails would be full if we let such projection nonsense really worry us.
Be tough  and be thankful if criticism is a common face to face encounter like it often can be healthily  at home . Stuff thrown at you in the heat of a moment may be less helpful or worthy of consideration . Criticsm doesn't kill you , but it can make you stronger .

Self worth is not dependant on how we feel about oursleves. Christians believe our self worth is a gift  to each and every person on earth . No mere human can take it away.
Self belief is a seperate thing that is not sacred because it is a subjective thing .People often take the one and forget the other . Take what is often good but temporary and ignore what is more basic and more substantial; the secondary and shaky is substituted for the solid and secure .  Freedom from sin is a real  status thing ( cf self belief) that you can get , which means that it has some objectivity - you are only free from self criticsm or others criticicsm if you know forgiveness for yourself .
  Too little resistance to the demands,  ideas and excuses of others (incl Too much silence) leads children to find themselves in a unreal world of unreal expectations and unself recognised sin. In such tense and precarious situations even a small insult can set a bomb off - or be too easily be interpreted as criticism -
The insult  can too easily be seen to be interpreted as criticsm of self worth , when in realityyour self worth is a given ! Some people just never see that and some parents never see that in themselves , risking the transfer of poor attitude to their children .Hold onto the idea that you are worth more than " may sparrows " . more than even the most loving people you know think you are .
 The 8thcommandment  protects your right to protect and defend your right to self worth;  but not to defend anyone against specific sins - which must be dealt with individually and internally .We all need to be criticized because,  if we wanna  be honest , whether its our own or others , we are better with truth than without it .